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Monthly Archives: August 2009
You didn´t think I was going to leave that last post at that did you? Really? How long have you been reading my Blogs? Oh, nooooo, now it´s ‘balance the books’ time.
So I am with Luis in front of a rather large gathering of prospective students that we have just served a couple of glasses of wine. We used to have “Free Sample Classes con Piqueo” to attract potential students … but when one class brought in a guy with a gun in his boot who was considering classes so that he could “get” the Surenos (Latino Gang) that had killed his son in a gang related dispute and we had a hard time getting him out of our house cause he was crying so hard, and another guy straight from Moldova (honest to goodness, this is a country, check your map of the Soviet Union) looking like the folks wardrobed for Shindlers List who when he moved through our house changed everything from color to black and white and who stopped half way down our spiral staircase and broke out in Italian Opera, and about 15 other groups who came with their friends for an afternoon of free food and wine sort of like the way people go to those posh weekends for the cost of listening to the Time Share pitch but have absolutely NO intention of taking classes…..we quite having them…..the Free Sample Classes with Piqueo I mean.
So anyway, we have the formal Sample class behind us, we are into the Piqueo (Peruvian term for appetisers or small bites) and are on our second bottle of wine. Things are getting more relaxed and we can tell these people feel comfortable, maybe even like us. We are just chatting informally and then one of them asks Luis to sum up in a nut shell, his teaching philosophy. He looks up, thinks. Looks to the side, thinks some more. Looks down and I am getting irritated…..okay, ‘we get that you are reflecting…..what already? Give us the d… philosophy in a whatever kinda shell!’
The moment finally seems right and he says; “I Like to couch my students just like my parents couched me.”
If it’s possible to feel such a thing …. I felt my face go white. There is this distinct sensation of a color drain beginning with the follicles of my crown and continuing in even levels down to my freshly painted toe nails.
Well, you can imagine, the half drunk potential students looked to ME for clarification and reassurance and the truth is, I was not in a position to give it to them. I was as stunned as they were.
When Luis gets talking, it takes a while for him to take a breath and so he was paddling on while we were all battling the images that were invading our alcohol tenderized brains …. until one of our guests, who had caught enough of his exhaustive explanation to be able to deduce what he had meant to say….. if I remember right, she was a Minneapolis Police Officer.
“Oh, you mean COACH your students, you COACH them.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said, couch.”
Well, needless to say, we didn’t get any new students that time either. Aquí estamos, Joan
No, No! This is not an X rated Blog! This is an honest Blog about the rough and rocky road that one must take in order to learn another´s language.
When I asked Luis this question he whirled around and looked at me with a combination of horror and true confusion. I could see his mouth in mid-answer ….. “ye….s” but he didn´t quite give it to me, his face was not, shall we say…it was not in concordance. This of course had me confused and I insisted….”Siempre te olivdas tu pene y cuando llegamos al carro tu me preguntas si yo lo tengo.” (You are always forgetting your penis and when we get to the car you ask me if I have it.)
By now the horror on his face is complete, the confusion has just left altogether.
Let me allow you into the deep labyrinths of my psych for just a moment. Don’t worry, it’s just for a quick second, just to help you understand what was happening with me as I demanded a serious answer to my question. You see, it´s exhausting being married to my Spanish teacher. He lets nothing pass, I always (it seems) have one little thing wrong, be it an ‘a’ instead of an ‘o’, or a ‘this tense’ over a ‘that tense’ or my pronunciation is messed up and I have to repeat until I sound more “native” at which point I can’t even remember what I was trying to say….. and to be honest I think this one is about not wanting to hear what I was trying to say……and THIS is what had the death hold on me when I was challenging him in so many words with, “it’s 8 PM do you know where your penis is?”
I had decided that I was going to insist this time. I was not going to let him get me off track with all of his infuriating corrections. I was saying everything right, doggone it and I was going to insist that he understand me. Now where I ever came up with the idea that this technique would work as well with a language as it did when I successfully returned that pair of pants I bought too small the day before they went on sale and could no longer be returned….is somewhere deep in that psych you guys are now privileged to.
Anyway, he breaks away from Spanish….I hate when he does that with me …. it’s just another way to castigate me (careful, careful) for my Spanish. He says; “You have to tell me what you just said again, but please honey, you look so beautiful tonight, I love your eyes…blah, blah, blah….tell me in English.”
Yeah I know, the sweet talk gets me every time. Geese, give me a break, at 50 whatever, my days are numbered for these types of adorations….I buckle. I say; “I saaaiiiidddddd……DO……YOU……..HAVE……..YOUR……..COOOOMMB?
He loses it. He starts laughing and can not get control. I have already lost mine as well and so this is not a pretty moment for us. I hear the neighborhood go suddenly silent….I know that without a doubt that Mrs. Hill down the street is completely motionless, just straining so as not to miss a single sylable that’s to follow.
“Honey, amor, bebé es PEINE, no PENE. Peine es comb, pene es penis.
Grrrrr %&$#” Aquí estamos, Joan
Today I am going to do something a little different and really fun for me. I am going to introduce you to a student of ours that became a friend and now is more a friend than a student but that doesn´t mean that she has stopped studying with us, only that we could lose her as a student and still be okay, because you know, sometimes students move on and well, that´s understandable and something we have to live with, but to have a friend move on? – well that would fall into a catagory all together different called ‘really sad’ so I hope it won´t happen, at least for a very long time if it happens at all. We love it when our students become dear friends!
Jessica runs a business called Un Buen Viaje and the second I can get away I’m taking one of her trips without a doubt. In fact she’s got some coming up in the fall, and I may find myself on one of them……so anyway everybody…….. Heeeeeeeeerrrrrrre’s Jessica!
Joan: Jessica, tell us about Un Buen Viaje.
Jessica: ¡Un Buen Viaje! is my way of giving back to the country that has given me so much. After four years of research and a continuously vivid dream, I launched www.ToursToNicaragua.com. Together with two dependable local guides we are a small group travel company leading tours in Nicaragua. We take individuals, couples, families, photographers, birders, kayakers, hikers, history buffs, coffee lovers, foodies, really anyone who is adventurous enough to step out of their comfort zone and into this colorful, big-hearted country.
Our focus is on being responsible travelers. We emphasize this by engaging our guests in the communities in which we travel and encouraging active involvement. Our travelers learn about Nicaragua from the inside out, through the voices of its people, its complex history, and rich culture. It’s more than just a ‘place’ to visit or a ‘thing’ to do. It’s about treading lightly in our host’s backyard and showing thanks for their invitation to visit. Como la gente dice siempre, “a la orden.”
Jessica: Nicaragua chose me, in a way. In 2002 Peace Corps sent me to the largest country in Central America as a sustainable agriculture volunteer, introducing me to a land of lakes, volcanoes, cloud forests, beaches, curious creatures, and vibrant and socially active gente with a complicated past. While I did not remain in Peace Corps, Nicaragua remained in my heart. It’s the incredible beauty, diversity, and perseverance of the people that keeps me going back for more. I can’t imagine ever running out of things to explore.
Jessica: Most of the ‘business’ takes place here in my Minneapolis office. Starting a small international travel company is a lot like starting any other small business. Same hoops. Same hurdles. Getting to travel in Nicaragua is the reward for the hard work.
When I use my Spanish here in Minneapolis it’s mainly to connect with Nicaraguan businesses, organizations and individuals to ask for information or advice in their area of expertise. A lot of this communication is done via e-mail so I’ve definitely noticed an improvement in my written skills.
Of course, once we touch down in Managua, Nicaragua’s capital city, it’s all Spanish. Bilingual Nicaraguans are in the minority and English is practically non-existent outside of the capital city and Granada, Nicaragua’s hotbed for expats. In-country is where I’m most challenged and when the practice (Spanish class with Luis, e-mails, Twitter, surfing Spanish language websites) pays off. There are taxis to be called, reservations to be made, friends to visit, drinks to be ordered! I love nothing more than being in the moment, making it all happen with my second language.
Joan: What if I don’t know Spanish and have no interest in learning it, can I still enjoy a trip with Un Buen Viaje?
The awesome thing about communication is that it is so much bigger than words. Imagine a handshake, a wink, a wrinkle of the nose or the forehead, a smile, a laugh, an “Ah ha!” I sometimes think those with a lesser understanding of the Spanish language than me often have an easier time communicating as it comes more from the heart than the head. Anyone with an open mind is sure to enjoy traveling with us.
Joan: What if I am passionate about the Spanish language and culture, what in particular, does your trip have to offer someone like me?
Jessica: Because only a minority of Nicaraguans speak English you are likely to find yourself immersed in the language and culture the moment you step foot in the land of lakes and volcanoes (and poets!). Our tours our designed to highlight Nicaragua’s diverse landscape, annual festivities, and musical and theatrical expression throughout the country. We create itineraries around these special occasions ensuring the opportunity for our guests to get a glimpse of life as it is lived by the people. One of our most favorite events in all of Nicaragua is Diriamba’s patron saint festival, which celebrates San Sebastian and takes place at the end of January. During the festivities, El Güegüense (Macho Raton), a satirical drama well known throughout Nicaragua, is performed in the city streets. It’s a synthesis of Indigenous and Spanish cultures combining theater, dance and music, and is considered one of Latin America’s most distinctive colonial-era expressions.
While Nicaragua is not Peru nor Guatemala with their prevalent indigenous populations, massive ruins, and woven handbags, Nicaragua IS full of action. Nicaraguans always seem to be moving and shaking to their own rhythm, and they are more than happy to have you join in. Ya, estoy lista para ir!
Joan: When is your next trip and when do I need to be in touch with you in order to travel with you?
Jessica: We have several upcoming affordable tours and it’s not too late to make your travel plans with us. If you are looking for a custom itinerary or would like to choose your own travel dates, feel free to contact us to discuss the options. Vamanos!
October 24-November 4, 2009 (12 days)
November 21-29, 2009 (9 days)
December 2-13, 2009 (12 days)
December 16-27, 2009 (12 days) CHRISTMAS IN NICARAGUA!
Joan: Thanks Jessica. I’m thinking December 2 – 13….. hey, by-the-way, you and Michael wanna come over for dinner sometime next week? Jessica? Jessica? Hey Jessica…..I guess she had to run…..
So anyway, there you have it! My friend Jessica and her tour company Un Buen Viaje. Here are some additional links that will connect you to all the action! www.ToursToNicaragua.com www.ToursToNicaragua.wordpress.com (blog) http://www.twitter.com/NicaGuide ¡Un Buen Viaje! on Facebook Aquí estamos, Joan
Now who “they” might be and “how” “they” might even be in a position to pass on this little ray of sunshine is a bit of a mystery in and of itself. We need to overlook the teensy issue that this popular myth assumes that the Internal-consistency method of estimating reliability was employed to reach a conclusion which is just simply impossible in both method or outcome. That is, if we were divide a group of dead people into two groups, those that died by drowning and those that died from other causes, and then we put to them the question; among the ways one could die, which would you rate as “not so bad” ….. well any live person can see that there are problems with this particular statistical method already. Even if we could remember how we did that cool séance at that one junior high slumber party, we would still have the problem that one can only die, like really die, one time, and so the comparison between expiration methods is just not likely.
But let’s not be so literal. Let’s take a look at the spirit of this myth and how we can apply it to our life here and today. Yes, I have been up since 4 AM pondering this.
It was actually something that came to mind at some point close to midnight on Saturday, August 1st, minutes before the publication deadline of our new edition of La Casa Rojas would have been missed. A new edition is due out on the 1st and on the 15th of each month. Now I, Joan, German, take this to mean “on the 1st and the 15th”. Luis, him, Peruvian, takes this to mean “en el 1 y el 15 más o menos“. And I know this. Luis and I have been together for 7 years now. I´ve developed heart problems over the issue and he’s developed tics. So between my assuring him in precisely articulated syllables that he is to blame for giving me this latest heart attack and his jumping and twitching at first site of me when all I want to know is “how it’s going”, we are well aware of the chasm that lies between on us on this issue.
There is always more work than we think there will be, but to this I say; “We already know this, let´s give ourselves the room we need to accommodate the unexpected.” “Don´t worry, it will get out,” replies his modus operandi.
So I struggle and flail and gasp and scream until I reach a point where I realize, anew, that all of that spent energy only delays un poquito, the inevitable. And though I do hate to admit it, there is something peaceful about that moment when we just give up and give in and relax to the forces greater than us. No, no, I am not saying that I lose and Luis wins. I would never say that…..I am saying that there will always be that tension between Luis and I on our perception of time. He’s more of a marathoner, I am more of a sprinter. He’d rather pace himself and enjoy the view along the way, I’d rather get it over with so that I can kick back and forget about it. He’s not right, but neither am I. There are simply style differences.
And so, though I will never be able to compare and contrast the best method to die, I can tell you that if the myth about drowning holds any water at all, it’s all in the metaphor. All the flailing and carrying on will not change the outcome, so when it’s you against the 30 foot swells just relax and ride it. Peace is just on the other side of all your fussing. Aquí estamos, Joan